What does be good, noble, and generous mean? Great question and one that I hadn’t had to ponder on up until very recently. But before I attempt to answer, or at least define, what the words mean, let’s go to the origin of the term.
Growing up, my dad had advice for pretty much anything. Some, nowadays, would be considered not politically correct and I thought he was crazy for saying them (Disclaimer: I said one or two terms as a young adulthood but don’t condone either. Just saying!)
Then there were those other tidbits of advice he would offer me which I typically, and readily, dismissed. Why? You may know the cliché – smirk on the face, an air of disdain, and arrogance mixed with a know-it-all attitude. Advice? For me? No thanks! That was me but don’t get it confused. Despite that attitude, I had a high level of respect for my dad’s authority but being young, I didn’t want to hear any of his so-called advice. Let me carry on with my day, please! (Note: I never uttered those words to my dad. Remember, high level of respect).
Despite my attitude which I masked pretty well, my dad continued to offer advice. And, like Q-Tip said on a Tribe Called Quest’s Bonita Applebum, “I got a little older, a tidbit wiser”. I began hearing my dad but not yet listening. Hearing and listening are, contrary to popular belief, not interchangeable concepts. More on that later but suffice to say I was hearing my old man.
As I got older, I started drinking with him and we somehow connected. There wasn’t much he and I had in common at least not in my view but when we drank it was different.
We began to open up to each other; asked each other questions and generally just got to know each other. We delved into conversations around politics, society, literature, law (he studied to become a lawyer), and music. My ears began to pivot from hearing to listening. I gained a greater appreciation for my dad and came to know that he was a learned man; I gained more respect for him; and saw him as more than an authority figure. I saw him as someone I really admired.
On one of my visits back home from university, we had our usual pow wow in the basement. He had methodically organized his CDs into a 100-disc CD player by category – tropical music, Latin American boleros, and Latin jazz. I threw in the occasional hip-hop album like A Tribe Called Quest (see above). It was during one of these get-togethers that he said something, and this time I listened. He said, “In life you must be good, noble, and generous. That’s all you should try to be – good, noble, generous”. He said nothing else for the rest of the short time I stayed with him. And though he sprinkled those words every now and then over the years, there was nothing else.
Those words made their appearance sometime in the mid-, late-90s and it wasn’t until about 20-some odd years later that I came to recall what he said to me that night in the basement. Be good. Be noble. Be generous. That was the goal in life? Did it mean something else? Or do I have to define it for myself? Questions that I had to answer myself. My dad was diagnosed with dementia in 2019. Unbeknownst to my family and I, we believe it was much sooner that he began to develop dementia. So now I’m left to come up with my own interpretation of what is means to be good, noble, and generous.
In September 2021, I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (aFib). AFib is an irregular and often very rapid heart rhythm (arrhythmia) that can lead to blood clots in the heart. A-fib increases the risk of stroke, heart failure and other heart-related complications(Source: Mayo Clinic) Yikes! I’m relatively young and I have aFib? My mom has it and, no disrespect to my mom, but she’s up there in age so naturally aFib is, in my mind, an older person’s medical condition. A visit to the emergency room said otherwise and I was educated that night be the attending physician. That visit and diagnosis led me to be more introspective. I had my wife and daughter to consider, and my immediate family, too.
The introspection had really begun two to three years earlier for other reasons but now it was taking on a new and urgent meaning because of the aFib. There was an earnest approach to understand so much about myself and how I could be all things to the most important people in my life because, well, you never know what could happen. And during an introspection moment, it hit me – In life you must be good, noble, and generous. That’s all you should try to be – good, noble, generous. That then became my personal battle cry. Be Good. Be Noble. Be Generous. It’s meaning? I would have to take up that task by my own actions. They wouldn’t stay as hollow words spoken one night or every so often. They had to take meaning and I was intent on doing that.
And there it is…the purpose of this blog. Not only for my own personal understanding but to be of service to others who are on their own journey to find a more purposeful life. I don’t claim to know-it-all (not anymore anyways!) but perhaps, and it’s my sincere hope, that my words and actions may be a guide not only for me but for you. Let’s see where this journey takes me, and you, to Be Good, Be Noble, Be Generous.
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